Get Used to Training Alone

I've had 3 times in my life where I had to start working out by myself.

The first time was before football. I didn't have access to a gym, so it was pushups galore at home. I did have my brother as well and we ran together a few times, but a lot of times it was just me. I actually didn't mind this because I was just starting out and didn't know any better. I also had big goals (I guess a big bench press and to be good at football, whatever that meant) so I didn't mind being alone while working hard.

After high school, it was time for college. Aside from the other people in a public gym, it was just me. I did have a couple of friends that liked to workout with me, but neither of them wanted to train "legs" as much as I did. I put "legs" in quotes because as an Olympic lifter, everything and every day was "legs."

After leaving a gym where I learned Olympic lifting, I started lifting at a CrossFit gym. I was the only one doing what I was doing, and the head coach was nice enough to allow me to do so. Also the platforms and weights wouldn't have been put to use if it wasn't for me, so that was a plus. It also eventually led to a weightlifting team of our own.

But then, I got a job. I still would go to the CrossFit gym, but working out for myself, coaching a class and working my job had me out of the house from 8am until 8pm. I realized that if my wife and I wanted to have kids, this wasn't a long term solution.

So eventually we started to put together our own little gym in our garage. It's pretty nice that a one time purchase can be put to use and then eliminate the need for a gym fee.

There was a small problem…

I was by myself again.

Even though I had periods at the CrossFit gym when no one was lifting with me, at least there were other humans around. Same with a public gym. But working out alone is a different animal.

There is something to be said about the comradery. Even if people didn't know me, they'd come up and make small talk or commend me on my strength.

Birds of a feather flock together.

But being a lone wolf isn't all that bad either.

I've thought plenty of times about joining another gym, but I realize that it's not necessary.

Why?

Going solo prepares you for the "worst case scenario" as far as a training environment.

It forces you to be more self sufficient.

What does this lead to?

Extreme motivation.

If motivation is the sense of "I want to do this thing," and discipline is "doing that thing when you don't feel like it," then proving to yourself that you can do that thing over and over is the real motivator.

It's time to enter the phase of the lone wolf.

Sigma Male or Nah?

Before we get started,

I realize that there is a new term called the "sigma male."

I don't know a whole lot about it (because I don't care to look into it), but it's a phase someone goes through where they just work hard on themselves for their own benefit.

That's not what we're going to do here, but I'll explain that later.

There are people that say that they "need" a gym setting to get motivated to workout.

It does help. Going it alone is harder.

But it's not impossible.

It's like saying you "need" a personal chef or a meal plan or recipe to make eating healthy easier or more enjoyable. Otherwise, you "need" to go eat at a restaurant to enjoy the experience. It takes a lot more time and effort to cook a healthy meal for yourself…but it can still be done.

Also, let's be real, you're never alone. As far as training goes, you can learn from others through books and instructional videos (influencers even). You watch other people training for motivation or join forums of people doing the same kind of training. Use the internet to your advantage.

But I get it. It's hard to go alone. I've been there.

But why?

Dopamine…but a good kind.

It's the way we're wired. We're social creatures. You can fly faster as a group than solo. Historically, if you were isolated, it meant certain death. It made it harder to hunt or protect yourself or to continue your bloodline.

So it's a dopamine source, almost similar to music or podcasts you could be using while training.

If you choose to or are forced to remove it, start thinking about it as another form of dopamine detoxing or as an example of becoming bulletproof. You don't have to be in this phase all the time, but it helps you gain motivation because you don't need anything else to get out there and put the work in.

There are a couple examples that I like. Clarence Kennedy is an Olympic lifter in Ireland. For the longest time his training videos were mostly just him training solo. Sometimes he had a couple friends and sometimes he'd lift in a traditional gym, but he had no problem training, friends or not.

Another is Arnold Schwarzenegger. We all know the movie Pumping Iron where he's seen training with all of his friends, but if you read his autobiography, there was a lot of training periods in and out of group settings.

Just think about it. If you can get up and train at home or in a gym or in a home gym and put in the work alone, forcing yourself to motivate yourself, you further strengthen your resolve.

You become a more motivated individual.

Lone Wolf Training

Again, understand that there may come a day when you're forced into this kind of training. When that day comes, you want to be ready for it. As a baseline, you should be ready to train by yourself, because the best case scenario - a gym, a bunch of friends, a motivating coach, a great night of sleep - isn't always guaranteed.

Step 1: Educate like crazy

• Figure out your goals for your health.

• If you're not sure, write out what you don't like. The opposite is what you're aiming for.

• Find a program that you jive with or get a few sources and make your own.

• Education for your own health should be a constant. You own your body for the rest of your life. If anything, just read motivating stuff.

Step 2: Bring your training home

• If you're stuck, start doing bodyweight workouts and walk more so you have no excuses.

• Or use that equipment you've had lying around the house.

Step 3: Manage your energy

• Motivation will be tough when you're by yourself. This is a sneaky way to fix it:

• Go to bed early. Shut off all the entertainment, your phone, the other nonsense you're doing at night. That can add an extra hour to your life. Also, which is more important, your health or your entertainment?

• Wake up early. Start working out before you talk yourself out of it.

• This isn't necessary for everyone, especially if you have access to a gym or a bunch of free time, but if don't think you have the time, this will fix it.

Do it for You. Do it for Them.

This isn't to advocate for being a loner.

This is for the people who say they're not motivated.

This is your time to go to the mountain top, out into the wilderness, to your Fortress of Solitude, to your Batcave.

Do you remember the movie 300?

At the beginning there was a montage of the young Spartan king, Leonidas. He did not have a cushy upbringing. The final test was going out into the wilderness, alone. He had to survive. He faces the trials (a giant wolf apparently) and comes back. He proves himself as a worthy leader.

It's that last point that's important: he did all that to become a leader. Remind yourself that you're doing hard stuff to eventually help other people.

I know that this example isn't real (maybe, probably), but there are plenty of examples through life where we go through a challenging phase. You've probably had some as well. School, college, a new job, a new child, the military, etc.

See this as a way to become a stronger person, this time mentally.

Use it as a moment of pure focus. A sacred time in your own life.

The best part about this, is that you probably have people in your life that are looking at you as an example. You're going to be an example, whether you like it or not. It can either be an example of what to do or what not to do.

After you've gone to your own mountain top, it's time to come down and help others. Be the super hero they need you to be.

Thanks for reading!

As always, if you have questions about any of these topics, feel free to respond back to this newsletter or fill out this questionnaire.